i wanna be your yoga pants! { 5 of the worst yoga pick-up lines }

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yoga butt yoga pants

Bryan Adams has this awesome song that I dig in a big way — I Wanna Be Your Underwear. And while the song works, if someone said that to me, I’d probably deliver a proper old-fashioned stinging slap. The cheek! No pun intended. :)

5 of the Worst Yoga Pick-up Lines:

  1. “I wanna be your yoga pants.” Uhm, no. You don’t. They’re grody, sweat-soaked, and have been overly friendly with the lady bizness unmentionables. The latter probably works for you, but naughty bits that have been worked out are not fit for consumption.
  2. “You could bounce a quarter off that asana!” It would be much more flattering if you’d said a benjamin, not chump change, fool. In the twangy words of country man Travis Tritt, “Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares.”
  3. “So…do you work out?” We’re in yoga, b*tch. Of course I work out. This ain’t Tai Chi.
  4. “Do you come here often?” You’ve been hovering around my matspace for the last few months and trying to catch my drishti. Are we really going to play this game?
  5. “Whoa, you’re flexible. I bet that comes in handy outside of class.” This, said accompanied by a lascivious leer. If you like your balls, and we all know you’re kind of obsessed with them, don’t say this.


And now, childrensss…time for share and tell! Do divulge the worst line used on you in life. Or perhaps, the douchiest line you’ve ever tried to play out.

photo credit: hardtailforever.com

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soothsayer. illusion slayer. intj/mastermind. writer + artist + strategist + innovator. california born, city of angels bred. gypset world traveler. la face with an oakland booty. queen of the jungle who doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

15 Comments to i wanna be your yoga pants! { 5 of the worst yoga pick-up lines }

  1. never heard those, where’ve i’ve been!

    the will smith stuff is great – my own experience, from way back of course ;-) is, if you’re funny AND good looking, all those work –

    otherwise, they end up on lists like you posted above ;-)

  2. lizzie-loo

    Worst yoga pick up line.. hmm.. after class a dude said i had a nice down dog and then asked if i was a ‘down dog’ to grab a tea after class.. might i suggest you don’t call a girl a dog when asking her out..

  3. Hahah these are great!! I’ve heard the yoga pants one for sure, but usually out on the streets walking so I guess that’s better than some goof hitting on me at yoga. Thanks for the laugh! :)

  4. I asked a guy doing yoga in a speedo if he would like an adjustment….okay, not really!!! haha…
    You NEVER see women making akward advances to our yogi-men…or do we???
    These are funny, Lo. Thanks for the midday grins! :)

  5. I hate the ‘O you do yoga? Can you put your legs behind your head?’

    Really DB if I could you would never know it.. and why would some ass even ask that?? ERRRRR

    Im happy Im not single I still get this crap though.

  6. This message was just sent to me on facebook:

    “You have a terrific Body…You do lot of Yoga I guess.
    I love exploring Cosmopolitan Cultures and People.”

  7. i hate the “I do yoga for flexibility” comment that those with mats are prone to say in public as a response to being asked why they do yoga. C’mon, we all know you think much more is involved. So just say it in public.

  8. “so you like to do it downward-doggy style…right? heh heh.”

    ew. the only thing i’ll downward dog is my yoga mat. and any other flooring that is conducive to my practice. (i draw the line at hot coals; not there just yet…)

    awesome post; you’re hilarious. i love funny people :)

  9. “So…do you work out?” { We’re in yoga, b*tch. Of course I work out. This ain’t Tai Chi.” }

    This actually irritates me. Yoga is not intended as a workout. Only in North America do we do brutalize everything…

  10. I’m a Yoga teacher, and I’ve always wanted someone to say “so, can you stretch me out?”…all in good humour of course ;)