hey f*cker! you need yoga in your life.

- - Lifestyle

angry blob biting a pencil grrr

I have just unclenched my currently-clawlike hand from my iPhone. My teeth are gritted and I feel like paying a violent, gore-filled visit to the person who was on the other line. She has singlehandedly turned customer service to customer sepsis. My blood is boiling with the rage of agitated bacteria.

And then I remember. Practice. This is simply more. An opportunity to practice. I could continue to think about the 1,000,001 ways to throttle this girl, or I can STOP. Breathe. Calm. Remind myself that I have a choice: I can choose to let it all drop away. My pissed-off-ness isn’t hurting her — she’s busy shitting on the next person and racking up more questionable karma. Why give her any power at all?!

Huh. Ladies and gentlemen, this pup is learning new tricks.

And the truth is, we both need Yoga. I know I do. And she sure as hell does. Perhaps I should send her a YogaWorks pass?

A Few Reasons All Us F*ckers Need Yoga:

  1. Staves off assholiness
  2. Keeps you from throttling people { woo! no jail time! though if it goes too far and you do wind up there, Wesley Snipes can be your yoga teacher. }
  3. Reminds you when to shutthefuckup
  4. Teaches you to walk away tall

When was the last time your yoga practice saved you from the clink (aka jail, slammer, bighouse, assault charges)?

artwork credit: meh.ro

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soothsayer. illusion slayer. intj/mastermind. writer + artist + strategist + innovator. california born, city of angels bred. gypset world traveler. la face with an oakland booty. queen of the jungle who doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

14 Comments to hey f*cker! you need yoga in your life.

  1. And when I’ve pretty much lost my sanity (or just think I have), another yoga class or pranayama session is curative.

    Breathing, mantra, prayer, movement and sitting… all these things can blast open my perspective and remind me who I really am – a part of this universe, something much bigger and more holistic than I can imagine with my puny brain.

    I am reminded that whoever or whatever it is I think I am, that’s generally a much smaller picture than the real story. Getting real means letting go, and that’s not to say we don’t all have our moments (I mean, HELLO my latest blog post!) of losing our shit, but the point is to remember to come back home, always.


  2. Good to know that others have non-ahimsa feelings towards idiots, despite their yoga practice!
    I try hard to focus on something Eckhart Tolle talked about in one of his books -how we can get sucked into everyone elses energy – good or bad – so when I encounter an idiot I just try and focus on this and try not to let them suck me down with them!

  3. Yoga is the only thing that has kept my sh*& together after my husband dropped the divorce bomb on me a few months ago. When I get flashes of rage toward him, I try to breathe and settle in for some vinyasa.

  4. Stacey (RYT 200)

    Jeebus H. Keerist….I just happened upon your blog the other day. If I didn’t know better, I would think you were my long lost twin. Glad to know there are other out there like me =) Shanti!

  5. I was actually almost yelling at a bank representative recently and then caught myself, took a deep breath and apologized to her for yelling (esp since it really wasn’t her fault) and found it totally shifted the interaction and I finally got my issue resolved. At the end she thanked me for apologizing – commenting that she gets yelled at a lot and I was the first person who apologized and she appreciated it. Important lesson for me.

  6. I thought I might be falling in love with you after reading the first few posts. Then I saw this “My blood is boiling with the rage of agitated bacteria.” I officially love you.