are you a meanie yogini? { 10 ways to know fo sho }

- - Lifestyle

fuck you mean people

The words may rhyme, but “meanie” NEVER goes well with “yogini.” We might be a little feisty, some of us are incredibly type-A, and everybody has an off day, but there IS a line.

The Meanie Yogini / Yogi:

  1. Kicks your mat out of the way so she can squiggle in or make room for her pallie, Yoga B*tch #2.
  2. Thinks share and share alike means take 10 blankets, 5 bolsters, and 8 straps. (What are you, an octopus? Who needs that many straps?!)
  3. Spends her time flaming yoga bloggers. She posts anonymously or first-name only, as she can start shit, but isn’t brave enough to handle the impending crapstorm. (Woman-up, already!)
  4. Keeps an eyeball on the teacher and an eyeball on you — she has to make sure her tree is more expansive than yours. (Seriously? Cease the shit-show show-boating.)
  5. Elbows or mat-thrusts her way to the front of the class line, even though everyone else is stacked properly and politely.
  6. Acts like yoga isn’t for everyone, as though there’s some sort of velvet rope or hierarchy.
  7. Hogs up YTT class time with insanely inane talk about herself. (Opportunity cost, biznatch! Don’t want to hear you wax pathetic about your life story like it’s a Lifetime movie audition.)
  8. Talks up ahimsa, bliss, love, and kind living in front of the crowd, while behind the scenes, she smokes, wastes resources, acts shitty to people, and abuses everyone in her vicinity. (Let’s recycle her.)
  9. Haaaas to make a grand entrance or is habitually and unapologetically late to class.
  10. Is passive-aggressive. (Gag.)

How to handle these hateful harlots? Patanjali gives us a simple key: DISREGARD TOWARD THE WICKED. Without the water of your attention, these smelly little flowers wilt and wither away. Ciao!

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soothsayer. illusion slayer. intj/mastermind. writer + artist + strategist + innovator. california born, city of angels bred. gypset world traveler. la face with an oakland booty. queen of the jungle who doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

12 Comments to are you a meanie yogini? { 10 ways to know fo sho }

  1. this post was just wayyyyyy to funny…. it made my day….i am very new to yoga and have only met some of the nicest peeps, but i am sure somewhere the peeps you described exist….i love your sense of humor!

  2. Woah. This hit me like a ton of bricks, reminding me of every bad experience (yoga or otherwise). I always have trouble maintaining empathy, or even just detachment, in the face of obvious thoughtlessness and (passive) aggression – especially with #8ers. Every time someone talks about healthy living or kindness and, in the same breath, lights a cigarette or whips out another toxic product – or, even worse, follows their statement on their own goodness with a bigoted remark or criticism of others – *I* feel judgemental because their words and actions eat away at my compassion for them. It’s more than their secondhand smoke or speech that’s toxic. Deep ujjayi breaths!

    We all need to practice what we practice. :)

  3. Rock My Soles

    Wow #8 and # 10
    I think there are some I could add to the this list..
    Most yogi/yoginis are wonderful but some not so much..
    Better stop here:)

  4. Does blogging under a nom de plume count? I mean, I waded right into that whole T-Stiles/size 00/bra fat debacle. So does that make me a #3 meanie?

    Thing is, I think we’re all guilty of bad behaviour on occaision. Habitual bad behaviour is something else though! And we can find them in all walks of life…

  5. I’d like to add that these meanies are probably the meanest to themselves during class. Talking up the ahimsa storm but creating violence in their bodies as they try to make their trees the most expansive.

  6. great list! though 6 & 8 (selectively) could be felt to be at odds.. it’s obvious that hypocrisy, or at least, contradictory lifestyling isn’t just swept away in one moment. we’re all practicing betterment and have unique flaws to remedy.