This has shit to do with yoga…in the specific sense. Now, in the grandest scheme of things, well, it makes perfect sense.

I choose ringtones like I choose yoga mats, the perfect chunky ring, books, and who to wreak havoc upon for the day. So. Very. Carefully. So you’ll understand the artful process it took for me to arrive at 2 Live Crew’s Hoochie Mama.

Why the dulcet tones of the infamously raunchy?

Hoochie Mama Confessions:

1. When my perfectly-postured doctor, the sweet old lady nextdoor, or some hassling a-hole calls, I am amused to no end by associating them with this song. I like to envision what their faces would look like if they were able to hear it. And sometimes, on my way to the phone, I throw in a little grind for their imagined benefit.
2. You can’t NOT be in a good mood, regardless of the nature of any call, when the intro song on the conversational soundtrack includes lyrics like, “Mama just don’t understand why I love your hoochie ass.”
3. When you’re busy as hell and your life is stressful (and stress-filled), the only antidote is to shake your ass. Mine has a mind of its own when this song plays.

I try to find little moments every day — petit spaces to have some fun, lighten the mood, and keep my perspective.

So “f*ck what ya heard and save your drama, all I need is my Hoochie Mama!” Give ‘er a whirl. Uberly satisfactory results guaranteed. I’m a big bootie ho. Aren’t you?

The Crew and I send our love.

artwork credit: wurk.deviantart.com

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