10 Ways I Am “Unyogic” (and don’t give a #%&*)

- - Inspiration

power fist

Lately I’ve been laughing at the absurdity of the term ‘unyogic.’ It pops up with more frequency these days, sometimes as a passive-aggressive attempt to shut someone down, feel superior, or a way to chastise ourselves for (oftentimes) harmless, normal human behavior. I’ve found myself using the term in bouts of mental criticism, in judgment of my own actions. I heatedly remembered a recent incident where someone out in yogaland railed at one of my tongue-in-cheek posts and questioned my yogicness. (Sum B*tch Mawfukka!) And I got to thinking, then inking, which is usually dangerously good.

What I came to was this: the next time I catch myself talking shit to myself about being unyogic, I’m going to shut the fuck up. I will embrace my yogicness AND my so-called unyogicness. Because it’s ALL yoga. Really it is.

What that means is this: You and I, we’re both where we are meant to be. If our hearts, minds, and energy are invested in our practice, we are on the path; albeit sometimes rocky and full of slips and slides, but we are here. Every step forward is progress. Every step backward (or halted) is a moment to learn and reflect. More practice. More progress. If we stop struggling, pretending to be what we’re not, and just accept … we’re in the flow of life.

10 Ways I Am Unyogic (and don’t give a fuck!):

  1. I cuss. You know this. I know this. I love cussing. Growing up, I was one of those good kids. Always studious, always did the right thing, never uttered one crass word. Then one day all hell broke loose. This cussing stuff is amazing. Cathartic. You can get really creative with it. And, by golly, swearing like a m*therf#cker is so g$d d@mn much fun.
  2. I have a bad temper. I’ve been known to jump out of the car, ready to throw down when harassed by other drivers or having had parking spots stolen from me. I live in LA, though, so that has to make me eligible for some sort of Get-Out-of-Temper-Free Card.
  3. I’m the biggest neat freak in the world. I clean when happy, mad, frustrated, sad…oh, for any old reason. I try to Go With the Flow and Be Present, but then I see that speck of dust or the toothbrush in the wrong place, and it’s all shot to swiffer. There’s cleaning to be done!
  4. I don’t love everyone. Shocker, right? There are lots, and I mean TONS, of assholes in this world. Let’s not encourage them, mmmmkay?!
  5. I have an evil sense of humor. The boyfriend is scarred for life after the time I scraggled up my hair, put it all in my face, dressed in black, and climbed in the opposite side of the shower while he had soap in his eyes and couldn’t see. Did I mention that The Ring really freaks him out? When I look back, I realize how lucky I am not to have been punched in the face due to a purely adrenaline-based reaction. But that hasn’t stopped my antics. :)
  6. I have a sort of red tantric love for cars. You know, borderline autophilia. For Aston Martins (DB9) and Lamborghinis (Murcielago), specifically.
  7. I’m smart (and humble!) and sometimes I need to read or watch stupid things to give my million-mile-per-hour brain a break. And I know I should be reading something intelligent and jnanic instead. My compromise is Calvin & Hobbes — witty, entertaining, and requires nothing of me.
  8. I’m a Tigress, fiercely protective. People who mess with my loved ones really push my buttons. And I want to hurt them, then bat their helpless bodies around.
  9. I am obsessed with fashion + clothing. I’m a Carrie. The quintessential clotheshorse.
  10. My sarcasm knows no bounds. And has yet to be self-checked. :)


What about you, my unyogic friends? What do you do that colors outside the lines of yogicness?

I say embrace it. Raise your fist and say, “Suck it!” Because in all our ‘unyogicness,’ we are yogic.

photo credit: cottontimer.com

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soothsayer. illusion slayer. intj/mastermind. writer + artist + strategist + innovator. california born, city of angels bred. gypset world traveler. la face with an oakland booty. queen of the jungle who doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

65 Comments to 10 Ways I Am “Unyogic” (and don’t give a #%&*)

  1. Thanks for the shout out!

    Cussing like a sailor? Check
    Temper like an amped up cobra? Check.
    I am not a fan of most people… If they would only do things my way…
    I am a HUGE fan of MY way.
    Screw unyogic – I am just keeping it real.

  2. LMAO. Are we twins? I feel the same way. A ?Friend? said I could be cruel because I say some real crazy/snarky things. I have a very dry/inappropriate sense of humor. Just because your on a “path” does not mean you get a halo, some levitating ability and become an administrator of sunshine. Although, I do administer some sunshine-if I’m annoyed, you’ll know.

  3. Just a few days ago, while on the way to yoga class, yoga mat strapped to my back, Iyelled “it’s a bike lane, asshole!” followed by a completely gratuitous “you stupid piece of shit!” at a driver. Not sure, but some people could think that might’ve been just a bit un-yogic…..

  4. Love it! We are all perfectly imperfect, right? Your honesty is very “yogic” …ah, but why label anything. It only limits us.

  5. I think we all do that, but I have to first point out – that I don’t recall anywhere in the Yoga Sutras or Bhagavad Gita – not in one place have I read “don’t say words that have arbitrarily been chosen to be bad”. Therefore, I don’t think cussing counts.

    Otherwise… yeah. Who the fuck is anybody to decide what is and isn’t “yogic”? I’m judgey and that is my big fat unyogic vice.

  6. my treat is to get a huge iced coffee right after a very hot prana raising class. supposedly messes with said raised prana big time, but this bad ass yogini don’t care. love you lady.. xo

  7. Lo, you are a riot!! I love it! The whole Yogier Than Thou attitude drives me crazy!!! I love that you keep it real <3 Another entertaining and wonderful post!! Oh, and yes, I am guilty of all of thee above. :)

  8. { I am absolutely BURSTING with love for all you beautiful mo fo’s. :P Thank you for your amazing spirit, friendship, and support! Love to make you laugh (and think!)!! xoxo }

  9. you freaking rock! this hits close to home as a closet clothes horse myself… i’ve totally been known to request designer yoga mats for my birthday and i love me a good vinyasa to rock music.

  10. I LOVE you so much for posting this!! I needed that laugh.

    Just this week I was described “not being bubbly enough” after permanently taking over a class from another instructor. I’ve been teaching yoga for 4 years and should not have let this comment get to me, should have known better! BUT it caught me off guard and at moment of low confidence.
    But lady, after reading this today, I am PROUD to be me just as I am! I’m nice, I joke in class, but I refuse to turn on the fakeness of sugary sweet smiles and shallow compliments.
    Yin with the yang, baby!

  11. Alongside this debate, I’m feeling irritated over the discussion of “authentic” yoga vs. “watered down” yoga. Um, what? Every time I read something by someone advocating their brand of “real” yoga, I feel like they’re patting me on the head, condescendingly murmuring, “It’s okay, little baby yogi, someday you’ll realize how misguided you are, and you’ll see how right I am. I’ll now use a bunch of big words and yoga terms to make you respect my authority on the matter, and each time you offer your perspective, I’ll tell you how confused you are by your wrongheaded yoga.” Pisses me off.

  12. I love Calvin & Hobbes too!

    I’m not obsessed with fashion so much, but I do love my clothes too! I probably think about them a bit too much…like, so much that before I leave for yoga class I wonder if my outfit looks okay and worry that I might have worn the same top to class a week ago. HAHA. Yah…suppose I’m not so yogic in that regard either!

  13. My favorite post-yoga meal is Whataburger. I am always ashamed, but it hasn’t stopped me once. My yogic-side tries to be kind to myself :)

  14. Loved the post and I’ve been a Calvin & Hobbes fan since like forever. (I’m sure they’re yoggis.)

    I have several of those “un-yogic” traits too. I realize I can’t change the assholes of the world so I use the gift of sarcasm to point them out though they usually don’t get the hint.

    No particular obsession with cars or clothing. They have practical uses but other than that I can take them or leave them.

    As for cussing and having a temper, I guess I’ve mellowed over the years.

  15. @outsidehimself

    Great post.. and really hits on something I have been thinking about lately, namely, how we bring authenticity to our practice. Often, I can’t help but wonder if people are undermining their exploration of self and their practice by assuming that because they are yogis, they have to appear a certain way, like or dislike certain things. Yoga isn’t a uniform. It might be a lifestyle, but how we express is as unique as all of us, or, at the very least, should be…

  16. Cheers to being real and down to earth babe. I get annoyed by the “holier than thou attitude” of some yogis, especially when you then see them do the very thing they have denounced – cut the crap. We’re all human and imperfect, or spin it another way, perfect just the way we are. Who’s wants to be a textbook yogi, textbook anything? We’re living in the real world and sometimes saying f*ck says it all – it’s universal too :-)

  17. I am no one’s yes man so I dont mind saying I use my yoga practise to help me become a better person.

    I think its stupid to use such a vague word as Unyogic though, people should call me bitchy, selfish, or shallow as it applies.

  18. Too funny!

    Actually, I don’t think any of the stuff you mentioned makes you unyogic.

    It’s all yoga to me! I mean, hey, if yoga is all-encompassing then how is it NOT yogic?

    I also cuss, have a temper and don’t love everyone. On top of that, I have a ridiculous obsession with vampire lore. Can you imagine that?! :)

  19. Three cheers for being unyogic! And there has to be a better word for it. Unyogic is awkward to say (but so fun to be!).

  20. Thank you times a million for this post! You’re right. I can cuss, read what I like to affectionately call “vampire porn”, eat veal, and spend way too much on shoes… while still be “yogic”!

  21. I am relieved to know there are more Type A, potty-mouthed, car loving, road-raging, clothes whores that teach and love yoga out there and aren’t afraid to be honest about it. As for me, I am am also not a vegetarian…gasp!!!

  22. God this is so refreshing to read. I think you are more yogic for being brave and open about your (perceived) unyogicness. Some seem to take pleasure in chastising and belittling people about their ‘failings’ – drinking, eating meat, not choosing to meditate for 2 hours a day (erm most of us have jobs and families and can’t afford that luxury).

    They seem to have conveniently forgotten the bit in the Yogic texts about being non-judgemental.

  23. I think you and I are related…
    Had i written a post like this it would’ve been, well, exactly like this (with the addition of Vodka). :)
    ~ @MitziConnell on Twitter

  24. Having never heard the term unyogic it was awesome to see the article. I’m glad that you are willing to tell truth in the raw, its refreshing. I know more than my fair share of yogi’s who seem to be in denial of their acts at times when they feel that others can’t see them or what they are doing. I’d rather an open admission to understood “faults” as deemed by yogi’s in general.
    My list of unyogic activities would be immense. Losing my temper comes much less now that I am in a blissful state for 8 hours a day on the road riding but now and again in a caloric deficit state I can lose my cool. I am mostly patient with all that I come in contact with but I agree that the world is full of some a-holes and I don’t promote or subscribe to their philosophies and openly detest the I am better than you attitude. I love nice things in life like cars, big houses and things but have been able to get rid of them in my life. I nonetheless love the best in all things from pens to cars.
    Thanks again for your refreshing post and honesty. We need more honesty in the yoga community.

  25. This has got to be one of my favorite blog posts of all time. I’ve been a devoted Yogini for almost a year and a half now but I have one horribly unyogic secret.

    I carry a gun.. and knives.. and pepper spray.. and any other defensive tool I see fit to carry. No, I’m not a police officer. I’m not in the military. I’m an average, legally armed citizen who understands that while I am loving and caring and giving person not everyone is like that and if someone were to threaten my peaceful Yogic life they would discover just how unyogic I can be in my own defense.

    I bought Yoga pants with belt loops in them so that I could carry my gun with gun belt to and from Yoga classes. I slip my neck knife under my Yoga mat during the first Downward Facing Dog of class to make sure it doesn’t tumble out onto the floor during an inversion and disturb everyone else’s zen.

    The idea of guns and Yoga seems a little like oil and water but I do not see or feel the contradiction. I’m a peacefully, happily armed Yogini.

  26. Sweetness & Light

    thank you (belatedly) for this post.you are fantastic and a tonic to the hard out purer than pure (read: much “better” than me) yogis i have the occaisional pleasure of meeting.

  27. Sweetness & Light

    thank you (belatedly) for this post.you are fantastic and a tonic to the hard out purer than pure (read: much “better” than me) yogis i have the occaisional pleasure of meeting.

  28. Sweetness & Light

    thank you (belatedly) for this post.you are fantastic and a tonic to the hard out purer than pure (read: much “better” than me) yogis i have the occaisional pleasure of meeting.

  29. I just read this and I LOVE it!! Sounds like we could be friends, all ‘unyogic’ together while cussing up a storm. Staying true to yourself is all that matters, great post that I can certainly relate to! :)

  30. I am unyogic sometimes, in fact, many times. I enjoy the curse, in fact, I am enamored of words that can be used in so many applications of the English language. I gave someone the finger when they tried to run me over (them in a car, me on my bike) when I was on my way home from yoga yesterday. Damn skippy.

  31. I LOVE IT!!!!! No explanation needed because if you live in a modern world…you ultimately are not exactly yogic in terms to the 1500’s anyways!! :)

  32. Amazing how the Right Thing fell into my lap just now. I am at work and struggling with VUT (very unyogic thoughts) about co workers. Then I found this post…presto! and perfect! I love it when the universe works like this.

  33. Tears from number 5….I love that!!! And have been tempted to do the very same:-)

  34. holy fuck. i think we’re twins separated at birth.

    or i’m the cooler, wittier, more sarcastic, and more fashionable version of you.


    but yeah, the whole sarcasm/carrie obsession/cursing (also an angel child…and 12 years of catholic school to boot!)/cleanFREAK (in the sheets)/evil humor/mind a mile a minute thing? that’s me in a nutshell.

    but i mostly just blame it on the catholic school.

  35. Lo, another great post. I possess all qualities except 3, 6, & 9. I think sarcasm is one of my best assets (it helps me keep the world in perspective). I love Calvin & Hobbes, a lot of deep wisdom there.

  36. Breath of fresh air … I was beginning to think I couldn’t be me AND a yogi. Lol. Thank you for being real!

  37. Rhonda McMahon

    Are you kidding me. You are my new hero. I love to teach the ‘good’ side of yoga, but let me tell you if I have my students hold downward or any pose too long – I have to duck – they will throw blocks. I love to let all energies escape in my classes and yes, sometimes it gets a little smelly! Thank you for sharing.

  38. OMG…I know this was a year ago but I laughed so hard I was crying….I am SO glad I’m not the only one. :)

  39. funny enough, i scared my boyfriend in the shower about two weeks ago, and i DID get punched! square in the nose!!
    lesson learned….

  40. Priceless!!! I’ve dabbled in yoga since I was about 12 though never practicing regularly. Partly because of never making the time and partly because I felt I couldn’t put myself in that mold… though over the last year I’ve learned that it’s okay to be outside of this ‘mold’ of yogini… your post just solidifies that – with a good laugh and complete understanding! So thank you!!!

  41. Oh. My. Gosh. I just found my yogic twin! (Except I’m a messy freak- so you’d probably get irritated by me.) Good to hear I’m not the only one, though. I’m a too rough around the edges to be the “traditional” yogi, but I’m gonna go ahead and say why that is definitely why I’m almost always the only one in class going hard, getting absurdly sweaty and doing all the fun “omg i can’t believe she’s doing that” asanas :)

  42. I love a burger every once and a while.
    I am moody and sometimes short tempered.
    I do not like everyone but at least cordial because I am learning to accept people for you they are. We all have flaws