YTT ain’t for suckaz. It’s for Hard. Ass. Bitches. We dun did our time.
When it’s all over and you see the light for the very first time in
decades years months um, hours, your mind flies like a bird set free. But instead of cruising around life and pooping on people, you just want to FLY.
Yoga Teacher Training is a life-altering, amazing experience. Legit. That said, here’s the shit no one else talks about.
Your (legit) Guide to Yoga Teacher Training:
1. First Day Introductions. There’s always ONE person who won’t let go of the damned microphone/spirit stick:
2. Everyone is just learning how to give proper adjustments:
3. After a full day of Standing Poses (i.e., a shit-ton of Viras/Warriors):
4. One of the criers cries. AGAIN.
6. Planes of Movement are taught. After 200 hours, I still don’t know the goddamn difference between Coronal, Sagittal, and f*cking Transverse.
7. Time to “look at bodies” (in poses). Everyone tries to act cool, but their faces look stricken. And you know they feel precisely like this:
8. When the hoes who try to copy your homework ask you for Sanskrit translations. Because you’re a genius.
9. Two-thirds of the way through training. Information + sensory overload. Worn body. On your mat, tucked into the safe corner, props serving as a barricade:
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