love is like superglue…and viagra.
Attachment. Think velcro, double-stick tape, and superglue. Love is a motherf*cker, isn’t it? The love of others, be they friends, companions, family, mates, says Dangerous Adhesives Ahead. It connects us, brings us closer to the fire. We’re wide open to having our hearts ripped out and flung about.
This love is a stimulant, a coupler, a natural Viagra — the opposite of Vairagya { detachment }. We think with our member, the fragile yet warm, guiding-while-sometimes-misguiding, well-meaning heart.
99% of the time I think with my brain. For all our gray cells, this makes life more black and white. Simple. Clean. Easier to navigate.
I sometimes wonder if my life would be less painful if I let go of my love-attachments. Lone. One. Singular.
What would things be like if I were a flat, shiny, non-adhesive surface? We know what happens when things are superglued together. When removal time comes around — wanted or not — the pain is immeasurable. We are deathly afraid of the rip, the tear, the separation. The loss.
And yet…
I’ll not caulk this inconvenient heart. There is no life without my loves.
artwork credit: fundraw.com
Ah, but it’s possible to experience love while maintaining detachment. It is… but we have to get through a lot of our own crapola to find that.
My Guru would say that a lot of what we refer to as “love” is everyone just trying to plug the emptiness they feel – so it’s more about how we feel than about the other person. And this kind of love is always problematic because if the person goes away, we’re still left with that gaping emptiness, y’know?
This is where meditation comes in – we observe the mind and learn about our true nature. And in doing so, we see the light we each carry within.
That light is our very own Love-Generating-Machine. By letting that light shine, we find we don’t have a gaping hole inside our body or soul anymore. It’s gone – and instead we’re able to offer love (without needing for that love to have a payoff for us) out to the world.
And for me, this is one of the best gifts of yoga…
totally agree, but no surprise there!
Beautifully written!
Me thinks there is something deeper behind this post my dear. Are you ok? Do you need me to come out to LA and smack someone around??
it is true.. love does hurt. but it’s also FABULOUS because it keeps us humble. and life would be rather boring if we didn’t have its ups and downs wouldnt it?
I would never miss out on love – I’ll take the pain and discomfort with it. That’s what makes it REAL & juicy.
LOVE YOU ♥♥♥
such a tender post. love is very much like that. It is hard to be detached and then who would want to be? However, that can led to pain, so we want to be a little detached. Well, not we-mainly me. Yep, complicated.
Well..it’s like Kahlil Gibran says and I quote:
“When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. ”
When you are flying sky-high on a swing, your head is so giddy..who cares then about falling?? :D
Uh ohhhh… I am a bad yogini- I
love too muchos!! I have to admit that I’m indelibly adhered to my family and my hubby… I guess this makes me weaker- but they together are my greatest source of joy and light.
That said…
If love makes this yogi wrong, then I don’t wanna be right!! I scoff at this yoga law! :)
i guess the flip side to this is that no matter where you go, up, down, backwards, forwards, your adhesived loved one goes with you. and you with them. that is support i’d never live without. even if it hurts sometimes.
Loving without attachment is true love. It gives you the “lover” and the “lovee” freedom. Loving with strong attachment is essentially fear based. Fear of being alone. Fear of a past experience of love occuring again. Fear of losing what is dear to you. With a sense of freedom, joy is present and it’s possible to feel infinite love even if detachment occurs. <3 to you!
oh my lovey-loo.. attachment.. like gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe is a pain in the arse.. i have no advice except hugs and loves are some of the best things in the world.. especially when given by a person who opens their heart..
i open my heart to you.. no fear, no hurt, no attachment..
Attachment becomes unnecessary when you remember that we are all linked to one another.
ps – love your blog!
Timely blog,just when I was considering an adhesive remover.
I think it’s really brave of you to not let yourself become impenetrable even in the midst of heartache. Especially because you’re right, there isn’t much life beyond our loves:)
I’d say I’m there… complete detachment from the love involving intimacy. It’s steadier than the other.
…and a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.
I know, kinda hippy-dippy (and showing my age) to quote Simon and Garfunkel. That song always makes me think of a friend who avoided emotional attachments for sort of the same reasons. Potential ache, but also potential great joy.
Good luck (or whatever) on deciding how sticky to be…
The pain is worth the joy to me. All that “rather have loved and loss” stuff :)
Love is not like Viagra but i agree its like super glue ;)