four heavy breathers { the 12 days of yoga }

- - Lifestyle

darth vader yoga cookies
On the 13th day of December, yoga gave to me

four heavy breathers…

three third eyes }

two turtle yogis }

and a yogini in the pose tree. }

Haaahhhhhh. Tssssss. Haaahhhhhhh. Tsssssss. HAAAHHHHHHH.

If you’re laughing right now, you’ve been in class with the yogi/ni/s pictured above. I’ve hand-made realistic cookie versions of them. They are the formidable pastries known as …

Darth Vader Cookies!

And now, a few pertinent thoughts on proper breathwork and The Force.

Darth Vader Yoga + Heavy Yogic Breathing:

  1. Not to be an asshole, but the experts tell us when done properly, ujjayi breathing can be heard by the person practicing it, and sometimes the person next to them. Not everyone in the whole damn room.
  2. There’s at least one Darth Vader in every single class. Without fail.
  3. That person always freaks me out. I feel like I need to find my lightsaber FAST! And then I panic that I’ve not kept up with my Jedi mind trick conditioning. Oh shit!
  4. Just to put it out there, we’re not impressed by the loudness of your breath surfing. Some are disturbed, a few are rolling their eyes, a handful are so in the zone they don’t know you exist, and it’s highly likely that the largest part of the group is worried you are going to stroke out.
  5. Is this a prank call? Some sort of strange come-on? I feel confused when I hear you breathe like that. It makes me want to put on more clothes or take a shower and scrub reeeeally good.
  6. You don’t need to convince us that you are breathing. If you weren’t, you’d really be in corpse pose. Now that’s a long-ass Savasana.

Breathe easy, my friends. This is one of the secrets to long life. If Darth were to hear you work your ujjayi properly, I know just what he’d say: “The force is strong with this one.”

{ 8 more days of yoga cookieness + kookiness to come! Aren’t the Darths cute?! I let the bf eat two, but I can’t seem to part with the others. :) } 

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soothsayer. illusion slayer. intj/mastermind. writer + artist + strategist + innovator. california born, city of angels bred. gypset world traveler. la face with an oakland booty. queen of the jungle who doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

14 Comments to four heavy breathers { the 12 days of yoga }

  1. The darths are too, cute. You are becoming very talented.
    LOL. I use to feel like I was not breathing heavy enough but maybe someone was just breathing too loud.

  2. As always your blogs make me LMAO! The Darths are very cute – I hope your BF gets you some frosting decorating tools for Christmas – there is a talent there that needs to be cultivated.

  3. Great job on the vader cookies! I wish I was remotely talented with frosting stuffs.

    I KNOW those people… and while they’re kinda annoying/distracting/weird – they’re still better than the groaners and moaners.

  4. Heh. I’m a Darth. Sorry about the distractions. I going to pass the blame to Max Strom.

  5. Haaaaaaa I’m a darth and I encourage students to be a darth. I admit one one student does it by themselves, it sounds weird. But when the whole room does it.. man! class kicks up a notch. One student told me class was like high tide :)

  6. At first I really hated this one Darth Vader guy in our studio, but now I’m so used to it, whenever he misses a class, the room becomes so quite it’s actually a little scary. Darth can grow on you I guess.