4 ways yoga can help you deal with annoying people

- - Lifestyle

you sir are annoying as fuck

You can’t swing a yoga mat, a sassy arm, or a stylish bag without hitting at least one asshole. They’re everywhere these days — the post office, in traffic, even on Twitter. But this doesn’t mean you have to let them get your goat. Not when you have camel, cobra, and cat/cow.

Rise above with the help of yoga!

4 Ways Yoga Can Help You Deal With Annoying People:

1. Breathwork/Pranayama. If it helps women expel watermelon-sized bebes through tiny, highly sensitive tunnels, it can certainly help you.

Ever since you were wee, people have been telling you, “Count to ten before you do or say anything!” or “Take a few deep breaths.” Turns out, they were 99% of the way to righteousness. Do both! Taking just 10 deep, steadying, in to your belly, full breaths should keep you from strangling nearly anyone. A regular pranayam practice guarantees it.

2. With Asana, We Are Rubber, Not Glue.

Stretching into the body glove drops us into the bliss of being. By practicing yoga poses and flows regularly, the meaningless petty and jerkitude don’t stick to us.

3. Now, Hand It Over.

Isvarapranidhana. The Sanskrit word for surrender. To source, to the divine, to oneness. Even if you’d rather not be one with Mr./Miss Assholio, you can always offer it up and let it go. Say the word to yourself and make it so. (Yes, I was both a rapper and Dr. Seuss in a past life.)

4. I Get High, High, High, High. Every Day…Every Night.

That’s a Styles P/Meth/Red lyric. They also say, “I smoke mayonnaise jars full of green like Biggie did.” But you don’t need to do this. JUST LIVE YOUR YOGA. A round of breathwork, a kind act, a delicious asana flow, serving in any way you can. Every day…every night. Do this and the high is so intoxicating, it’s impenetrable. And so are you.

 

Stay cucumbery.

(artwork credit: imgfave.com)

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soothsayer. illusion slayer. intj/mastermind. writer + artist + strategist + innovator. california born, city of angels bred. gypset world traveler. la face with an oakland booty. queen of the jungle who doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

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