The words may rhyme, but “meanie” NEVER goes well with “yogini.” We might be a little feisty, some of us are incredibly type-A, and everybody has an off day, but there IS a line.
The Meanie Yogini / Yogi:
- Kicks your mat out of the way so she can squiggle in or make room for her pallie, Yoga B*tch #2.
- Thinks share and share alike means take 10 blankets, 5 bolsters, and 8 straps. (What are you, an octopus? Who needs that many straps?!)
- Spends her time flaming yoga bloggers. She posts anonymously or first-name only, as she can start shit, but isn’t brave enough to handle the impending crapstorm. (Woman-up, already!)
- Keeps an eyeball on the teacher and an eyeball on you — she has to make sure her tree is more expansive than yours. (Seriously? Cease the shit-show show-boating.)
- Elbows or mat-thrusts her way to the front of the class line, even though everyone else is stacked properly and politely.
- Acts like yoga isn’t for everyone, as though there’s some sort of velvet rope or hierarchy.
- Hogs up YTT class time with insanely inane talk about herself. (Opportunity cost, biznatch! Don’t want to hear you wax pathetic about your life story like it’s a Lifetime movie audition.)
- Talks up ahimsa, bliss, love, and kind living in front of the crowd, while behind the scenes, she smokes, wastes resources, acts shitty to people, and abuses everyone in her vicinity. (Let’s recycle her.)
- Haaaas to make a grand entrance or is habitually and unapologetically late to class.
- Is passive-aggressive. (Gag.)
How to handle these hateful harlots? Patanjali gives us a simple key: DISREGARD TOWARD THE WICKED. Without the water of your attention, these smelly little flowers wilt and wither away. Ciao!
artwork credit: izzymom.com